Figured out my issue from yesterday – the Service Console NICs were on the wrong port group. They had the right IPs but were assigned to a portgroup with a different subnet mask, so they were never talking to their gateway. Fixed. I knew I was being a chowderhead.
Another thing I learned about ESX and Virtual Center – importing is cool, but be careful to make sure you import machines to ESX hosts that have at least as many CPUs as the target machine. Otherwise it’ll come over, but fail to start up, and the logs will declare failure. Just migrate to a more suitable ESX host and start it up.
Now I have fixed almost every issue I am having (still can’t get my two newest servers to mount one particular NFS share, even though they can ping the IP – the logs still say, “no route to host”). I’ll get to it later. Feeling pretty good right now – why spoil it?